Tuesday, 13 March 2012

A short story written by me, aged 10.

This is a little story I wrote aged 10.  My mother found it hidden in a drawer.  It is short, sweet and silly, but in a way quite sad, because I was a bit like the little girl in the story who was no good at school, and who longed to be clever.....I was really writing about myself.

The Magic Pencil

Once upon a time there was a little girl whose name was Lucy.  She was aged 10, but she was the dunce of the class.  She was absolutely hopeless.  She was careless, untidy and disgraceful.  One day it was time for exams.  Oh Lucy was worried, because she knew that however hard she worked she would come bottom in every single exam with 0%.  The day came, and she had a brand new pencil which her mother had bought her.  She arrived at school, and the papers were given out.  Suddenly she heard a little whispery voice saying "It's ok, I will do the work for you"  It was her pencil talking to her.  Lucy nearly screamed with fright.  But she knew that she was not allowed to talk in exams, so she held her mouth.  The pencil kept his word and did all her work for her.

Soon the day for the results came, and the teacher said that she was very, very, very surprised to say that Lucy had come top in every single exam!!  Lucy went red.  Even now she still has mer magic pencil, and she is very famous.

The end.

Awww, Bless!!!

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Oops I did it again!!!: International Womens Day, a letter to my 'older-se...

Oops I did it again!!!: International Womens Day, a letter to my 'older-se...: Dear Jo (the me I am now), Here you are, all grown up, the little teenage girl blossomed into a mature woman, not afraid to speak your m...

International Womens Day, a letter to my 'older-self'

Dear Jo (the me I am now),

Here you are, all grown up, the little teenage girl blossomed into a mature woman, not afraid to speak your mind, and live your life.  You have age and experience behind you, and lessons have been learnt, mistakes made, failures experienced.  You have the wrinkles of life etched on your face, and they tell your story.  Your body bares the scars of many operations and surgery over the years, and the ware and tare on your body of having been pregnant 5 times,  and given birth to and breastfed 4 children.  Age has deposited extra padding all over your body, and there are soft rolls and curves in places you never had before.  Despite all of this, you have learned to accept the way you are, and have new-found confidence in yourself.  You are not afraid to be yourself, you are all woman.

For many years you allowed yourself to be down-trodden, and you lived your life to please others, and fit in with them.  You never allowed yourself to be who you really are.  You settled down very well, living in your 'little box' with all its restrictions, and limitations, and it became 'normal' for you.  Eventually, you learnt with time, and with encouragement from good friends, that was not the life you were destined to lead for the rest of you life, and you broke out, no longer having to conform to the structure and boundaries which you had become so accustomed to.

As a teenager and young women those limitations were your own, you placed them there because of your lack of confidence, self belief, and fear of failure.  They became your own prison, stopping you from stepping out and doing things.  You had yet to learn how to overcome these self-placed restrictions, to be happy with yourself and to break free.  You fell victim to people who would push you around, and who reinforced your lack of self worth,  resulting in a barricade of wrong beliefs about yourself and stopping you from being the person you were meant to or could be.

Your greatest achievement has been raising your 4 wonderful children.  I know how much joy and pride they have bought you over the years.  But along with that, the pain that comes from loving them so much, that at times, your heart aches.  Grandchildren are not on the horizon yet, but I know the joy and happiness they will bring to you in years to come, and how much you will love them too.

You are still very much on the pathway of learning all about yourself and life.  Don't allow people to pull you down, or drag you down as you have come so far.  Such negative people are a drain,  and you do not need them in your life.  Accept constructive criticism positively, and learn from it.  You still have a tendency to try and justify yourself and defend yourself when this happens, it is a habit you seem to have acquired, and you really don't need to do it.  You also still tend to be very self-critical, and can run yourself down at times which really gets you nowhere at all.  You are getting better all the time, and as time goes on you get stronger and more resilient.

So here you are, living in the present, and with the future that lies ahead of you.  You still have so much more to give, and more of life to live, God willing.   You will continue to blossom, and grow old....both gracefully, and a little disgracefully!!  Do not be afraid of ageing, and all that it brings.  There will be joys, and there will be woes ahead as you go through the Autumn of your life to Winter.  Make the most of every day, because you do not know at what time God will call you home.  Do new things, go new places,  have new experiences, take risks, be creative......live each day as if it were your last, and continue to dance, laugh, sing, love and be loved.

Lots of love,
Jo (your older self)

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Oops I did it again!!!: Letter of encouragement to my younger teenage self...

Oops I did it again!!!: Letter of encouragement to my younger teenage self...: Dear Jo-Jo (my younger self) I am writing to you from many years in the future, when you have all grown up and have lived and experienced ...

Letter of encouragement to my younger teenage self

Dear Jo-Jo (my younger self)

I am writing to you from many years in the future, when you have all grown up and have lived and experienced much of life, with its joys, laughter,  sadness and pain.

I know you have been through so much already, the bullying in your pre-teen years, the difficulties in school you experienced and all the unhappiness.  I know how you felt useless, small, pathetic, stupid, a failure  and no good at anything.  I also know how in your teens you feel unattractive, spotty and unlovable.  I understand how much you hate your large nose, flat chest, and big bottom.  But let me tell you this young lady, you are none of these things.  You are clever, funny, sweet, attractive, articulate and lovely......even if you don't realise it or believe it now,  you are.  It will take you many years to 'find' yourself,  to believe in yourself and have courage and confidence in yourself.  You will take many knocks along the way, and will also have to suffer  much before you can finally learn this, and know it for yourself.

Don't let ANYONE make you feel useless or stupid, because you are not.  Don't let ANYONE take advantage of you, or walk all over you, because you are worth so much more than that.  Learn to say 'no' and to assert yourself.  Do not be led into things that you are not happy with, or do not want to do and please do not feel that you have to 'go along with the crowd', be strong enough to be yourself.

Be careful with some of the decisions you make, as they affect you for much of your life and your  future.  The people you meet, the relationships you make, the person you marry.  Never ever feel pressurised into something you are not sure of, or comfortable with.  Don't just go with the flow, because you think it is what you should or ought to do, or what others expect of you.  Don't do anything you don't want to do, just because someone is telling you or persuading you to do it.  Only do it if you think it is right, and makes you happy.  Make your own decisions and choices, and don't allow other people to make them for you or influence you.  Avoid people who will try and control you or manipulate you, who would try and stifle, suppress or stamp out your very soul and spirit  Follow your heart, and follow your dreams, and never compromise on what you believe in, and what you want in life.

Think carefully about your choice of career.  There are those who will try and guide you into something that is totally wrong for you.  Know your strengths and weaknesses, and think about what you enjoy, and what comes naturally to you.  Do not be pressurised into doing something that clearly you are going to be no good at, it will be like swimming against the flow or the tide......uphill work, and it will drag you down.  Efficiency, organisation, administration, office work will be a struggle for you, and make you unhappy.  Do not fall for the track "a Secretary is a good career, as it is something you can always fall back on" because it won't.  You will once again be made to feel useless and helpless, as it is a career that doesn't utilise your strengths, but just exaggerates your weaknesses.  Think about your creativity, I think you could make a good career if you look down that route.....it is so much more you, and you could be very happy and fulfilled.

You will have to go through suffering and pain, it is part of life's tapestry.  But don't worry, the things you have to go through will make you stronger, wiser, kinder, deeper, smarter and more compassionate.  They will make you 'you', and the woman you will become, the 'me' that I am now.  You will go through heartbreak,  you will be let down, and you will be hurt.  Remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and that when one door closes in your life, another one will open to something better.

You will make mistakes, and you will fail, but these will only be negative in your life if you allow them to be, and  if you don't learn or grow through them.  Never regret past failings or mistakes, regard them as lessons in life.  Never be afraid to try again, even if you have failed many times, if it is something you want enough, it is worth fighting for.  Be courageous and sometimes take risks.  Don't regret things done in the past, as they can't be changed, and don't forget,  if you look back too much, you can't move forward.  Live each day of your present life as a gift.   Look to your future as a series of many paths to be taken, but be wise as to which paths you choose to take.  Some will lead to happiness and fulfilment, but some will lead to emptiness and sadness.

Value your body and your health, you will have accidents and mishaps that will change your life, so be careful how you treat yourself.  Don't put yourself in dangerous or unnecessary situations.  Look after your health and your body, it is the only one you will have, it will not be replaced!  Your health will play a very important role in your happiness, so stay fit, healthy and happy.

Above all, never be afraid to be yourself.  Embrace life and what it has to offer, and don't be frightened  to take the occasional risk, and be a little daring.  You don't have to conform the whole time to what others expect of you.  You CAN let your hair down sometimes, and if others disapprove, that is tough.  Believe in yourself Jo-Jo, and try not to be so self-critical and tough on yourself.  Show yourself a little kindness and self-respect.  You can be the 'someone' that God created you to be, if you just hold onto the dream, and never give up, and allow yourself to be who you are.  Keep hoping, believing, trusting, and loving.  Live, laugh, sing dance, love and be who you were meant to be.

You have much to offer this world.  You just have to see it within yourself,  find it in your inner-being, believe in it, grab it with both hands and hold on to it to release the power you have inside to set yourself free and soar on Eagles Wings.  You can do it, I know you can.  Learn to love yourself first, and above all be true to yourself, then you will be able to love and be loved, and to be true to others.   Be strong, be happy, be faithful, be wise, be fulfilled, and never stop hoping and loving life.

Look after yourself  Jo-Jo, you have so much to look forward to.  Live your life as best you can, and with no regrets.

Lots of love

Jo (your grown-up self)

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Oops I did it again!!!: Dilemmas, and my Titanium arm

Oops I did it again!!!: Dilemmas, and my Titanium arm: Life is full of dilemmas and choices..... which career, which job, which partner, which pathway in life? The decision can affect the rest ...

Dilemmas, and my Titanium arm

Life is full of dilemmas and choices..... which career, which job, which partner,  which pathway in life?  The decision can affect the rest of our life for better or for worse.  Some choices I have made in life have been good, but some have been bad.

My choice of career, a Secretary....  that was a 'no-no' for a scatty, creative person like me,  I regret that one, but I still made good somehow.   Some decisions I have made were partly right, and partly wrong.  I look at the good things that came out of them, and not the bad.   These choices were not entirely wrong, as there were blessings that come from them that go on and on, and so I have no regrets.

Some bad choices have been lessons to learn and grow through, and I have become a stronger and wiser person for it.  I still make mistakes, and make wrong decisions, but I am still learning, that will never change till the day I die.  I can only pass on what I have learned so far to my children, and to my grand-children.

There have been some things that have happened in my life where I have had no choice.  They happened, and I have had no say in the matter.  If I could change what happened I would, but I can't.  Some of these things were life-changing, and have altered my perspective on life.  They have helped me to grow and have made me the person I am now.  A heart that hasn't suffered is a sterile one.  I am more compassionate because of these experiences.

Recently a silly accident changed my life, and it was not due to a choice or a decision..... it was fate.  It happened in the blink of an eye.   It could have been so much worse and could happen to anyone.  I thank God it was what it was, and wasn't life threatening, because it could have been.  But now I am faced with a dilemma.  I have a semi-functional arm that is full of Titanium, and I have been given a choice.  I either face the rest of my life with a semi-functional, painful arm with all its restrictions, or I take the risk of having further intricate surgery to give me a more functional arm.  The risk with surgery is nerve damage that could affect the use of my arm and hand, and constant nerve pain forever.

It is  a hard decision to make, and it is a real dilemma.  I want to have an arm that is more 'normal' and 'functional', but not sure if I should take the 'risk' of more surgery.   I do believe in miracles, but sometimes a miracle can only happen through medicine, doctors and the hands of a good surgeon.  It is a hard choice to make.....if only I had a crystal ball.

Perhaps it is a dilemma that I can only know how successful it could be if I take the risk, so maybe the risk is worth taking....who knows...life is all about choices.

Friday, 2 March 2012

Oops I did it again!!!: Meggie the Moggie

Oops I did it again!!!: Meggie the Moggie: Our eyes met, and it was love at first sight. You looked at me with your light Spring-green eyes, and my heart melted. I took your adorab...

Meggie the Moggie

Our eyes met, and it was love at first sight.   You looked at me with your light Spring-green eyes, and my heart melted.  I took your adorable little face in my hands, and I knew you were the one. Never in my life have I felt something so instantaneous.  You and I looked deeply into each others souls as we gazed upon each other.....you kissed me on the nose, and that sealed it.  You were mine, and I was yours.

Pretty little Meggie, so perfect and so cute, you have won my heart, of that there is no doubt.