Saturday, 3 March 2012

Dilemmas, and my Titanium arm

Life is full of dilemmas and choices..... which career, which job, which partner,  which pathway in life?  The decision can affect the rest of our life for better or for worse.  Some choices I have made in life have been good, but some have been bad.

My choice of career, a Secretary....  that was a 'no-no' for a scatty, creative person like me,  I regret that one, but I still made good somehow.   Some decisions I have made were partly right, and partly wrong.  I look at the good things that came out of them, and not the bad.   These choices were not entirely wrong, as there were blessings that come from them that go on and on, and so I have no regrets.

Some bad choices have been lessons to learn and grow through, and I have become a stronger and wiser person for it.  I still make mistakes, and make wrong decisions, but I am still learning, that will never change till the day I die.  I can only pass on what I have learned so far to my children, and to my grand-children.

There have been some things that have happened in my life where I have had no choice.  They happened, and I have had no say in the matter.  If I could change what happened I would, but I can't.  Some of these things were life-changing, and have altered my perspective on life.  They have helped me to grow and have made me the person I am now.  A heart that hasn't suffered is a sterile one.  I am more compassionate because of these experiences.

Recently a silly accident changed my life, and it was not due to a choice or a decision..... it was fate.  It happened in the blink of an eye.   It could have been so much worse and could happen to anyone.  I thank God it was what it was, and wasn't life threatening, because it could have been.  But now I am faced with a dilemma.  I have a semi-functional arm that is full of Titanium, and I have been given a choice.  I either face the rest of my life with a semi-functional, painful arm with all its restrictions, or I take the risk of having further intricate surgery to give me a more functional arm.  The risk with surgery is nerve damage that could affect the use of my arm and hand, and constant nerve pain forever.

It is  a hard decision to make, and it is a real dilemma.  I want to have an arm that is more 'normal' and 'functional', but not sure if I should take the 'risk' of more surgery.   I do believe in miracles, but sometimes a miracle can only happen through medicine, doctors and the hands of a good surgeon.  It is a hard choice to make.....if only I had a crystal ball.

Perhaps it is a dilemma that I can only know how successful it could be if I take the risk, so maybe the risk is worth taking....who is all about choices.

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