Saturday, 25 February 2012

The joys and woes of being dappy!

Perhaps it was something to do with my slightly premature birth, an unexpected and difficult breech delivery that led to a lack of oxygen.  For as long as I can remember, I have always been dappy.   If you were to ask any of my siblings or my parents, I have always been this way.  Just a little bit dozy!  My brother even wrote a song about me, 'Dozy Jozy' and then the lines went something like this 'making a fool of herself....'  I can't remember the rest, but when he sang it to this little ditty-type melody on the piano, I couldn't help but laugh, because it was so true, I was, and I still am!

At school my teachers would say 'she is always day-dreaming, staring out of the window looking at the clouds go by, she could do better if she paid more attention in class'.  Story of my life.  I was certainly no academic,  preferring to spend most of the time with my head the clouds, or my nose in a good book.  One of my Maths teachers used to actually throw books and board-rubbers at me... I was that bad (I hasten to add for any of my Eothen friends reading this, it was at my previous school, and one of the reasons I left to go to happier school days at Eothen).   My English teacher had a soft spot for me though, she said all I had to do was look at her with my big brown sorrowful eyes, and she just couldn't get cross. I loved English literature anyway, and if I excelled at anything it was in this subject.  Strange, I still have a recurring dream/nightmare,  that I am back at school and I don't know which class I am in, where the classroom is, or even where all my books are, I feel completely lost and at sea, knowing I should be in class or somewhere but not knowing how to get there.....must be telling me something!

Following on from School and college, I became a Secretary......probably the worst kind of job for someone like me.  Messages not given, files mis-filed, shorthand that was incomprehensible when I came to type it all back, forgotten bookings, forgotten appointments, you name it.  The workings of a business was incomprehensible to me, as was anything to do with numbers, or anything financial.  The funny thing is, my brother was/is genius with numbers and figures, he would set himself impossible mathematical equations just for fun, I could never understand that.  On the other hand, I would write just for fun.  I still do.  Most of my bosses were male and were reasonably tolerant and patient with me despite my scattiness and flaws.  It seemed all I had to do was look up with big brown soulful eyes, and flutter my eyelashes a little, and say worked!  I had one female boss, a fiery Italian lady, and my brown eyes and fluttering eyelashes didn't seem to make any difference to her....can't think why!!!!!  Just like my old maths teacher, she also would throw things at me in bouts of anger and temper.  Her face would go red with rage, and all the veins would bulge in her neck and forehead as she yelled at me.....she scared me senseless.  I would become a gibbering wreck and disappear into the ladies loos to have a little cry, returning back to my desk with a blotchy tear-stained face......not a good look for a young Secretary!

My friends for all my life have known me as being sweet, silly, and scatty.  My ex-husband, and my friends of old called my little slip-ups, mistakes and silly sayings as 'Jo Classics'.   More often than not,  it was that I would think something daft in my head, but say it out loud.  It would always result in roars of laughter, and everyone saying 'another Jo-Classic!'  One of my most memorable 'Jo Classics' was on a  girlie trip to New York  in the year 2000.   We decided to go up the Empire State Building.  At the half way level  (or thereabouts) there was a sign saying 'Roller Coaster' ride.  I looked around with a puzzled expression, and asked my friends "how on earth did they manage to fit a Roller Coaster ride into the Empire State Building? or is the ride going all round the outside of the building?"  They dissolved into hoots of laughter, "it's a Virtual Roller Coaster Ride, oh Jo....oh Jo Jo!!!!"  I kind of giggled with embarrassment, ooops, silly me!   Yes, at least I have managed over the years of blunders to learn to laugh at myself, my funny ways and slip-ups.  They are somewhat amusing both at the time, and also when I look back on them.

I have some other friends who now call them 'Jo-Jo Moments'.  I like that, it sounds rather quaint, which I suppose is what I am.  Thus the title of my blog 'Ooops I did it again!'  What with this and my tendency to be a little accident prone (see my first blog... Good Intentions), it seemed rather apt.  I dread to think  what I will be like when I am 80 (God willing I live to that ripe old age!).   I am a bit like my Granny, even at my young age (!!!).......tell me a joke, and I either don't get it at all, or when I do, I am laughing  5-10 minutes later  or even the next day......when I have finally worked it out.

Actually,  I don't mind people laughing at me or gently teasing me about my silliness, forgetfulness and quirkiness......I am fine with it.  I think most people find it quite an endearing quality.  The exception of course, are terribly efficient people whose lives are totally organised and smooth-running,  those people whose  lives are so perfect, in order and faultless they cannot possibly understand me and where I am coming from.   These people must find me incredibly irritating or frustrating...they shake their heads in disbelief and give up.  Still that is their problem and not mine, as I am quite happy with the way I am and my life.  People who love me, love me because I am me......with all my funny ways, I will never change.  For those in my life who have expected perfection from me,  I am sorry I failed.  However,  in failing perfection, I have learned to love and accept who I am and the way I am.  Learning to love myself, I have learned to love others, and to become more loveable.  Love, after all, is what makes the world go round.  Welcome to Jo-Jo's world!!

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