Saturday, 11 February 2012

Long gap.......writers block!

Hello my has been a long time since I have blogged, for some reason I didn't feel inspired to write,  but quite a lot has happened.  I thought I would have a catch up though, and do some more blogging not for your entertainment, but because it is good to write.

A few weeks ago my darling little Basil passed away.   We were blessed with 16 wonderful years of his furry, woofy, funny, cute and doggy ways.  What a wonderful little character he was, and the best family pet we could have ever wished for.  I miss him dreadfully, and I have tears in my eyes as I write this.  He died peacefully in bed at home, like he had gone to sleep,  except this time he will never wake up.   The vet took him away in his bed all cozy and wrapped in a blanket, and that is my last memory of him.

Each morning I wake up expecting to see him, and every time I go out I expect to come home to his waggy little tail and sweet face.    Coming back to an empty house, and waking up to no-one feels very, very lonely.  There is a huge emptiness and void now that can't be filled.  I still can't believe he is gone, and that I will never see him again.  To hear his little snuffley noises,  and the click clacking of his paws on the kitchen floor.  Sometimes I think I can hear him, even smell him.....but no, he is gone.....forever, it seems so final.  All I have now is memories.

My arm is progressing very slowly.  I had a large screw removed about 4 weeks ago, it was one of the many bits of Titanium inside my bones, but this particular one was trying to make a rather spectacular exit out of my arm like something out of 'Alien' the movie!.....ugh!!!

It is now four and a half months since my accident..... the day that changed my life.  It feels like a lifetime away since I had a normal arm, and having an abnormal arm is becoming the norm.  I am just about managing to use a knife and fork now, so that is a step forward.....though there is a fair amount of cheating going on.  I still am not driving, but I am hoping that in the next few weeks/month I will be able to give it a go.  My other goal is to be able to get my left hand up to my left ear, so that I can talk on the phone and write a number or a message with my right hand.   My arm still gives me considerable pain (though nothing like it was), especially at night....sleepless nights have become the norm sadly (not that I was a brilliant sleeper before!).  I have been told by many people that full recovery will take a year of slow progress, and even then I am to expect a 'functional' arm, and not the arm I used to have.

It has been a some what rickety start to the year..........Christmas and the New Year already seem like a long and distant memory.  So much has been happening,  relationships all around me on shaky ground, and nothing seems certain at the moment.  People going through tough times....and only just keeping their heads above water.   Friends with health issues that put everything else into perspective,  we all have our battles to fight and to get through, but our health is the most important, and if that fails......?

Few of us can go through life and sail through with no problems, we all have our burdens to carry, our sadness, grief and pain to go through, hurdles to get over, and mistakes to learn from.  In the end they make us who we are.......stronger, more compassionate and understanding human beings.  Without pain and suffering, difficulties and problems our hearts become sterile and cold.   So I thank God for helping me through tough times, and giving me a more understanding and compassionate heart, and for teaching me wisdom (though I could do with an extra dose of that one!)  I pray that my heart will never become hard or sterile.

I thank God for friends and family, without whom the last 4 months would have been so much worse.

Speak soon, and I promise I won't leave it so long before I write again.

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